The Whisper

To think it's been over 4 months since our paperwork was DTC, just seems impossible. But on the other hand, time seems to have stopped. Having a 6 to 7 month wait did not seem very long but with the news of having to wait 8 months from DTC (documents to China) we sometimes feel that time is counting backwards instead of forwards. It has officially been 1 year since we began the initial adoption application and Logan has turned 4 this past week. When thinking back, Logan was still only 2 (almost 3) when we started the adoption process. My, my, how my baby is growing up. Logan pointed out an airplane in the sky today and proclaimed that the airplane was going to China. He matter of factly stated: "I want to go to China Mommy and get Lainey". I told him not yet and seeing his disappointment really put me in a whirl. I try not to play the "what if" game, but it can be very difficult not too. Our daughter is now most likely born and being cared for by someone at this very moment. Is she in an orphanage with many children or is she being taken home at night by one of the orphanage caregivers and sleeping in their home or is she in foster care with many family members. Is she being loved, comforted, pampered. Is she crying, hungry, cold. Who is taking care of her, feeding her, is she loved and does she love? Does she have all the things I hoped for for Logan, to know he is loved.... the best treasure in life is to know you are loved. Logan is down for a nap and I should be grading my students homework as I type away....... but just before Logan layed down he said. Mommy come here I have to whisper to you in your ear. As I bent my head to his, he said to me in the softest sweetest whisper.... "do you know I love you" and I replyed "yes, and I love you more", Logan's reply, so soft, so whispered, "I love you more my mommy". I hope that our little daughter is being whispered to at this very moment. With that said, life is good and God is great.